Breath by Breath

Today is Sunday and we are praying for a day of rest for Silas. He continues to have periodic difficultly drawing air into his lungs. Sometimes he is happy and awake and quiet, but often he struggles to get air past his vocal chords and so his chest caves (retracts) deeply when he inhales. The doctors have him on pressurized air and oxygen to help get air into his lungs, but we are all worried that eventually his little body will get tired of all this work.

Since early this morning his breathing has been especially difficult. He is calm now, but it's a fragile peace. He sleeps so long as we hold both of his hands and help keep his head back and his airway open, but otherwise his chest caves and a loud stridor returns. He has periodic breathing, which is like breath-holding (shorter than real apnea, but still pretty scary). The only thing harder than watching him struggle to breathe like this is the thought of him going through it alone.

Silas's doctors have put him back on a higher flow of oxygen and more pain medication and advised us this morning that we may need to readjust our expectations for leaving intensive care and the hospital as they wean him more slowly from the assisted breathing and pain meds. It is now looking like we'll be here most of next week too.

Please pray today for Silas's breathing. If things don't improve soon, he will have to be put on a mask today, and it is also possible that he will need to be reintubated. Since both of these interventions will probably aggravate him (and increase his breathing problems), we want to avoid starting down that road. Right now we just awkwardly stand over his crib, hold his hands, and hang on each breath, hoping the next one will be easier.